Thursday, July 5, 2012
corner a plan to take heart but a finger will do in tribute to the growing masses forever following behind in the dim light of a dream where wondering I look down examining nail, paw I will take heart yours but a finger will do the corner closes slowly but surely steadily pushed by hydraulic gears and crunching stone I'm shaking my head to focus on my paws wolf or rabbit, never mind wolf even still I will take heart But a finger will do a tribute to the growing masses of former, fallen Of babies growing warm in the belly of brothers sitting still at the table awaiting sup of all my days and nights and soft moments I will take heart a finger will have to do but I'm coming for you no bowl no rubber bone no tinkling bell no winter sweater no funny photo no wagging tail Even the thought the first step the plan to lunge the knowledge of leaping the memory of tearing the steel of muscle is victory A plan to take your heart as the corner wraps me into fate warm under cover of earth solid as eternity I will at least bite off your fucking finger 9:05 AM Like · Comment Post a comment... Views (52) · Edit May 19, 2009 new fish imagine money from the magic card swipe is a good word clickety click we have some fish sweet little anime eyes I dream in deep primal pockets of inhaling lunch, water and all then complexity confused by complications of brain complex energy considers the soul electric sparks making drips of chemical thought protects them The goldfish make my kids giggle and stare and think ...and care I grumble at something else to worry me I sprinkle some food flakes into the glass water cage ...stare ...think some kind of care but age protects me I'll be the one to flush the toilet (maybe it will be a matchbox service) 8:25 PM Like · Comment (2) Post a comment... Trish Patricia Ray Phelps Trish Patricia Ray Phe… Okay...back to the strange blogs again...I won't even ask! lol Reply 3 years ago meg meg glub glub Reply 3 years ago Views (102) · Edit May 16, 2009 days Current mood:adored drip the dry gears, oil crank the handle dry bones pulleys to raise the sun too quickly on ancient horse hair ropes into the living, still scene of sky and birds waiting, all ready for music the stage spills out open hands wrinkled skin... bent fingers outstretched worn the organ pedals make a squeak a hollow tap from strange black shoes ....time to hush 9:35 AM Like · Comment (2) Post a comment... Susan Dalton benjamin Susan Dalton benjamin beautiful imagery. nice. :-) s Reply 3 years ago meg meg Oh, I like this one, baby. Reply 3 years ago Views (72) · Edit Jan 20, 2009 The cabin I've chosen to call it the "cabin" There are no more spiders. It's quite comfortable now. I installed a wood burning stove and it heats well. There's no insulation at all. But the thing was built in the late 1800s as far as we can tell. The neighbors, and a few people who have driven by have given us this impression. Also the fact that the beams under the house are made of split logs. i looked for the old cut nails that I've seen on other old houses. But there aren't nails to see. The beams are held up by stacked stone...no mortar. So it can be forgiven for leaking cold air everywhere. It only matters on the coldest nights. But we love it. We wish the owner would sell it to us. But we know he never will. We're fixing it up just the same. Can't let it just fall apart. And it's a good place to be through the hard times. I feel that God led me here. The man who owns it seemed to think so too. So we'll stay until something else opens up. Follow our fate. The kids get to eat fresh eggs. We get a practice run through rural/gardening/farming/nature loving etc. Harry is watching our old house well enough. I'll sell it eventually and use the equity to buy some property, build my underground house. We've got the three acres on the river. We could build there. But I don't really want my kids living next to the dog killing hateful people I grew up near. I would rather get farther out. there... 9:57 PM Like · Comment (2) Post a comment... samantha samantha i like yer cabin a lot- can't wait till the weather's nice again & you can have another party Reply 3 years ago meg meg yeah yeah yeah baby Reply 3 years ago Views (66) · Edit Dec 16, 2008 On the other side OK. It would haul my kids, it had a brand new air conditioner compressor (lifetime warranty), it had a brand new transfer case(3 year warranty), slipped in and out of 4 wheel drive like a dream, not too bad mpg, straight six didn't smoke a bit, 270,000 miles and didn't burn a drop of oil, New tires, I was sure to hit 300,000 miles... passed when I wanted, hauled my trailer, kept all my tools in it, had my few special, important stickers on it, rack on the top that would haul ANYTHING even ALL of my ladders at once, and I have a few, Got it stuck in the mud bog, even though Harry said the jeep couldn't do it... it was late and we were...feeling different. I tried... I went and got a sandwich, what kind is not important... (but it was Arby's... shhhhhhhh.) I was driving up 22nd street when crossing University I heard screeching brakes... for split of a split second thought "ouch that's going to hurt someone." then felt myself start to sort of smash into my window, the one by my left ear. I, at that point, seem to have calmly deposited my sandwich (roast beef) onto the hood of the large, white, Electrician's van before continuing with my multi directional journey (both the van and the man were large and white by the way). I remember this feeling on my head, sort of like lots of pain, and not really knowing what was happening for a second or two, but seeing it all in slow motion ( an effect commonly reported by accident victims, not understood until you're sliding the way you weren't just going with lots of noise and pain and confusion) Then I had to verbally tell myself to take my foot off the gas. I was driving toward the sidewalk. After the Policeman, who witnessed my not at faultness, asked if I was OK, I looked around and cussed. My door would not open. So I poured myself a cup of tea from my thermos. The inside of the car didn't fit anymore. I cursed out loud and saw the people to whom I was just an annoyance, drive around me to get through the light. Everyone kept asking if I was alright. I said "I think so." Then I slipped into panic mode, which for me is not to panic. I made phone calls. Had Tym and Grant come to the crash. They were excellent. I explained that I needed the stuff out of my car, too many things to get lost, they hit it like a machine and had my tools and valuables out and secure before the police finished their report. Standing there, waiting for the tow truck, we all noticed the sandwich that had been carefully deposited on the hood of the van. And even though I appreciated my forethought in the face of such an impact... And I hate to be wasteful. I was not about to eat. 5:46 AM Like · Comment (1) Post a comment... samantha samantha dude! are u okay? Reply(1) 3 years ago LEE waites LEE waites Well... I loved my Jeep... And I'm down about it and all the other crap that's been going on. But my head smashed out the window and I came out of it with no injuries... So I guess I'm OK, better than I could have been. It was a close one. 3 years ago Views (78) · Edit Dec 11, 2008 Shit! Well there's no Goddamn Jeep anymore. I loved that damn Jeep. 5:34 AM Like · Comment Post a comment... Views (60) · Edit Nov 29, 2008 Dee Current mood:sad The trailer rattles behind the Jeep like a snare drum bumps in the road are rhythmic each one set in place by God and ill care tapping tires to the beat I buried her in the rain dumped her in a shallow grave sat back and smoked a cheap cigar don't try to stay alive worry doesn't get you far I would explain if you don't, you already don't know pick and shovel sand and stone mud and roots I can't explain took her sent rain as if I am with her as if I AM switch through mp3s monks chant to angry rant I look for the unpretentiously least caring rhyme Sometimes I am just a cigar Through faith and devotion to prayer I have learned a secret God lives in my woodpile the male God with a beard God hiding in tiny like mist heaven world With my axe I will set him free I do this because it's time to ask face to face "why did you kill my dog?" (Dee, my puppy, was 12 years old to my recollection. I got her from the adoption people. She would never stay in her pen. She could chew through chain link, and dig under anything. She stayed around the house like a good dog. She was very loving. She was good to the kids. She barked when something wasn't right. And she chased away the coyotes. I knew the second I saw her that she was the one for me, my dog. She was always there waiting when I came home, and she would jump and bounce because she was happy to see me. This is a cosmic thing.) 12:28 AM Like · Comment (2) Post a comment... kim kim kim kim I know what it is like to lose a dear pet! I am truly sorry for your loss!! Reply 3 years ago Susan Dalton benjamin Susan Dalton benjamin ((((((())))))) so sorry about your gal. may she rest in peace. and peace be with you. s Reply 3 years ago Views (50) · Edit Nov 21, 2008 humility Current mood:neglected camping in. scavenging wood from every pile. blocky, choppy, fitting my sense of ever apocalypse. watching the decay of addiction to slipping through impermanence fermament. the stars really fly fast as shrapnel from some forgotten mine. or maybe mind drifting someday to let go of hands in earth out of gravity. large boulders crumble together, rumble to crunch out gray cold voice like rock screaming "you're doing the same thing over and over and over and I'm going into space like a chimp with a death wish!" But why would they speak for lost souls? It must be the sound of the bus waking me up as my daughter rides away just that little bit. Or the creaking voice on the phone that says my son is in trouble, take him home, take him home, chop wood while he watches from the bed where he won't take his nap. Do you appear? Do you wake to this beauty? Do I circle through your head as your sky opens ever more...running? And this sleeping round ball... i enjoy camping. i enjoy fires. i enjoy warmth of body. i enjoy caring to care. i enjoy thoughts. i enjoy talks. i enjoy wine. i enjoy smoke. i enjoy feeling. forgive my staring. mortality is never to know. 12:39 AM Like · Comment Post a comment... Views (63) · Edit Jul 30, 2008 Here comes I would like to be the first to apologize for the way things have been and really miss the air. My favorite puzzles...big blocks...goldilocks and Peter Pan. In the sky with drawn figure sticks Dancing Deer and cheesy tricks rapping stair figure twinkling me high stepping like keeping it cool. Flippin my coin stride to ease on up. light poppin from my top hat and toppin my smooth smile face head. Jeez... Damn and shit. What is it. Shut the hell up with that damn skippy song. Too much wrong with no way there. Stuck in the slime, not rhyme, you idiotic fool. We got bills to pay. You're not cool. I shat cool and flushed that sublime vision away. You're the dog's growl and mosquitto bitch bite. No fun but fight. Blood running and children screaming fears from you are the Boogey Man. I'm going to take a nap. you die. 11:16 PM Like · Comment (1) Post a comment... merrybee merrybee damn. Reply 3 years ago Views (45) · Edit Jul 21, 2008 sreepy fine roots creep in tapping face bone eye socket silky fibers sewing tear ducts shut up for me. cannot be my soul inside the glass eye hammerstrike shatters out banging out smashing out cannot be this soul blindness smile shaped boats happy sailing downstream from the cracks capsizing blindness is fine just seen it all before the heartwarmth freezing even now stars shed drifting light feathers from a pillow fight in play 9:41 PM Like · Comment Post a comment... Views (54) · Edit Jul 13, 2008 crap. Somebody killed Eddie. the rooster Current mood:stalked There's a point where the tree meets the sky meets the clouds tip pointing up with promise knowing you are not in joy up there away it settles slowly as night comes and stars twinkle like tv no station snow in... between the signals Margaret Thatcher still chases me into the night, down cobbled streets away from Renee and Mom and swirling into Meg and Leah and Neal but all me all me and gritting grinding teeth through which, though, I can fill my lungs - air and clean waterfall mist breath down eyes up the clouds clear out the tree meets the inside of our egg shell sky pecking outward 10:23 AM Like · Comment Post a comment... Views (55) · Edit Jun 21, 2008 Jseu O Lord Jesus...do me a favor, just look away for a minute. 9:10 PM Like · Comment Post a comment... Views (30) · Edit Jun 22, 2008 brgfreoprety I let something go I blew misty breath under the magnolia like no more smoking pain in my chest it's crazy my flesh browns inside like old steak on the shelf just kind of chalky and the fumes smell rotten from everyone walking by smiles like sharp candy corn razor teeth lonely wine craves to be drunk sitting there waiting for my lips to chase in the redness screaming through travelling log flume fun fun I lost something I don't currently care 1:57 AM Like · Comment Post a comment... Views (47) · Edit Jun 21, 2007 NOW Last night it was now for a minute there have been a few nows lately Better foot, under stars, on the empty road I ran for fun, Meg and Dad said I needed a doctor maybe I ran for childish spite It was now last night My dog is here now I worked in the pouring rain building the fence she keeps breaking out of so she can stay on the porch as the rain dripped off the side of my hat now was then we sleep in a tent the whole family on the floor in the living room Leah, Neal, Lee and Meg each night I slip out after they drift off I fight the Brown Recluse As I was writing that very line one crawled out into the light of my computer screen no lie, I swatted it to death with some order forms Now can be scary the tent has screens crazy coincidence... I haven't seen one in the civilized part of the house for days. But I have to tame this little patch of land. I can understand many little things were not clear forgiveness is a weighty power I tell you what dial up sucks high speed baby like running water now I guess I need to try Dish high speed I can see every star, every night bye 6:36 PM Like · Comment Post a comment... Views (83) · Edit May 30, 2007 I am not fried chicken I just poured all the salt on my foot what does that do? Ice water and salt Will it bring down the swelling? seemed like an idea at least I'll let you know Not epsom!!! I know that doesn't work Maw Maw used to soak chicken meat in warm salty water before she made the best buttermilk slow fried chicken that would kill you for sure she made it to 84 (she started to eat better at some point) I am not fried chicken! 5:22 PM Like · Comment Post a comment... Views (70) · Edit May 23, 2007 smoke In the air filled with smoke from the Georgia fires in the plane filled with scrunching and bobbing, shifting bodies in the brain case filled with wants and hopes in the hopes filled with mirror focus and the mirror filled with scattered refractions is it there to pull on me? warmth of a moment can it be now soon? Warrior bonded haft out sword tip length to flick my nose end extend, the grip of combat can it be now yet? Four hands hard together smashing fake plastic shell encasing four hearts entombed before death embracing that nature's path to ends full and perhaps now is close. Now is inside you and you must birth it. our last child together we can raise it with a Rum and Coke on the front porch in smoke, the Georgia fires... your breasts are required for nurturing of course. come and lay into me let me fold into you I'm well past ready for now. your affection is required now it is my source 8:11 PM Like · Comment Post a comment... Views (70) · Edit May 15, 2007 Don't remind me why did you have to remind me of the chicken wings and cheese sauce? Oh God. The White Russians! 8:04 PM Like · Comment Post a comment... Views (59) · Edit May 13, 2007 my party well I can feel every year now lots of my friends came over we ate and drank and played music meat. not-cake cake. Too much booze White Russians, Beers, Herbs, Margaritas, Rum and Coke, wings, so much more. I drove the lawnmower down the street to see the lights no police came 3 AM I fell asleep 1:30 PM Like · Comment Post a comment... Views (57) · Edit Apr 26, 2007 happy happy happy joy joy joy 7:49 PM Like · Comment Post a comment... Views (43) · Edit Apr 26, 2007 Rangoon Go out, among the reeds and tall grass find her there where her body lies broken raise her gently into your arms for I cannot breathe to move stroke her soft, silky hair, tenderly, kiss her cheek carress her for me as you come you must find the strength, bring her home then lay her at my feet, into forever so together we may be in death 7:12 PM Like · Comment Post a comment... Views (40) · Edit Apr 20, 2007 Pasturized Current mood:accomplished Just an old fashioned mortality blog in my feet and in my heart and head... physically...physiogeny not a metaphor not a playful romp Oh Blog! Great and mysterious. Oh that filial code not Gorf or Pong 286-386 or Mac My computer can smell my fear It's watching me, pleased Drops of water on the surface of my window people bob and slither in the street we keep saying, all, the polar shift is coming my hair will stick straight up or straight down, whichever and the water swirls backwards then drops of water do not form then the universe fails to bond 8:20 AM Like · Comment Post a comment... Views (52) · Edit Mar 28, 2007 more roses Having fallen asleep too early I find myself in need of starch. Twinkle twinkle twinkle, pasta and cheese. Maybe I can fall back to sleep. I grab the wrong end of the pasta box. Twinkle twinkle twinkle...pickem-up-stix. I wonder for a minute if I can put them back in, like it never happened. But some hair/lint/evil from under the fridge gets caught in the mix, kills that thought. I have to clean it up. I can't post it here. But like the kids with Scooby Doo, I will come to you. Where you are, I will follow. You are the sexiest woman I've ever met. I want to grow things with you...vegetables, kids, the future. (free of carcinogens/clean and new) Until I'm in my pine box, you holding my hand. I want to tell you what I want to do. But that would be censored. Now is not a good time.............................. I have to go clean up the pasta. I love you. 1:59 AM Like · Comment Post a comment... Views (51) · Edit Mar 17, 2007 snakes in mud Current mood:cranky a thing said always is more than the thing said snakes in mud glare of the sun venus flytrap worms bugs fish thank you for the strength from the scrapes from blood in the think tank I'm floating belly up why footprints in the sand more less 8:34 PM Like · Comment Post a comment... Views (34) · Edit Mar 16, 2007 ooooooooooopppppps. The Pepto Bismal goes down like a slow waltz sound breakfast of champions marbles in the left hand bricks in the right but the settling stops old demon purging maybe it's better to puke look into the mirror, lift the head, pull the lower lid to inspect the eye veins I see things in there deep in flipping up and down like dreams, to concede to gravity too small to catch 7:19 PM Like · Comment Post a comment... Views (33) · Edit Mar 9, 2007 Apple chowder Had an R.C. Cola today even though I don't drink soft drinks, or sodas, or Cokes, or pops Had shrimp today, Vietnamese 22-b water in a bottle is so common now and good had two of those I want to invest in air don't think it won't happen the ground floor start thinking of names on the shelf next to the Gatorade g0-2, that's a good name, 0-2 on the go Extreme Air, with special additive gas for that extra zip Vita-air, we're almost there Hell on Earth Betty... I've given up hope. I'm moving on. I kind of like the look of the little purple one with the limp. I hope it's a girl thing. Because I'm not ready to be that open minded yet. 8:31 PM Like · Comment Post a comment... Views (34) · Edit Mar 5, 2007 Bugs I'm just so thrilled with all my new Myspace friends. I would like to thank you all for coming. After this Blog we need to all go to Meg's Myspace page for a Myspace party. BYOB…bring your own blog. OOOOOHHHHHH! No you did not! Sorry! Damn. I just watched Babel. Damn depressing movie. Now I want to watch a Will Farrell movie… the jolly, happy face of the White Man. Sleep…sleep…sleep. Come back here bunnnny raaabbiitt. 11:50 PM Like · Comment Post a comment... Views (29) · Edit Feb 28, 2007 Bad melon puree I think we should all walk out our front doors, walk to the street, smile at each other and start dancing like a video from the 1980s. We can wear sparkling v cut sequine shirts and throw our hands into the air. Head bob head bob hands out to our sides, two guys flipping over some K cars. Today people were driving. We could ride a train. Today people were flying in Leer jets. We could sit in cushion chairs and sip our drinks while someone was killed in one of the sleeper cars. A mystery. An adventure. A who dunnit. I'll take two doughnuts and a cup of coffee. A who dunnit with two doughnuts please. The smell of buttermilk? The smell of tequila? Sauerkraut farts! I can't believe you ate a hot dog. Don't pull the blanket over my head please. That's politics for you. Good night Betty. I think something's about to happen. 9:38 PM Like · Comment Post a comment... Views (43) · Edit Feb 24, 2007 our old paper www.birminghamfreepress.com 5:09 PM Like · Comment Post a comment... Views (25) · Edit Feb 23, 2007 grape juice concentrate Spurious impact of thought to neglect the bones poking through tiny hair holes on my body Everywhere marking that I will do nothing, say nothing of consequence Tiny filaments emerging to defeat the fleshy, jealous image claiming To be me, sharp and angry or blunt, calcified strong They forge outward to fulfil their destiny Being what I am, far longer than my thought could ever hold Absorbing sinew, muscle, meat My smile dissolves into fine dust, becoming cold 4:04 PM Like · Comment Post a comment... Views (27) · Edit Feb 19, 2007 starting to lose hope I saw some of them sniffing around inside the gate today. I know I can't scare them away so easily next time. They all seem to be taking directions from the green one. I still have some melon puree and PGA. I only hope it lasts until Betty gets back.I'm going to try to fashion a weapon or a trap. I'll have to eat one of them if help doesn't come soon. My God Betty! What Happened?! The floor in the back finally caved in. There seem to be some tunnels running under them. If I can fashion a light I'll go see where they lead...Oh no! They're back! 4:11 PM Like · Comment Post a comment... Views (20) · Edit Feb 19, 2007 The Clickers Every day they get a little closer. I try to put it out of my mind. I know that the supplies won't last another week. But I just have to hope that Betty and the Professor got through. I know they'll come back for me. I've noticed that one of them seems to be in charge. He's the Green one.